Do Our Memories Become Our Attachments?

When you are fully aware of the present moment, it can be surprisingly strange to witness where your thoughts could take you. You are suddenly out of your body, thinking about something, somewhere but certainly not here. Are you chasing the castles in the air or dungeons under the ground? The other day I was lost somewhere in the past, too.

It happened when I was trying to find a photo from 2019 in my gallery. I suddenly realized I got stuck in memories from early 2020. In just a few seconds, tears welled in my eyes. Why was I about to cry? Which certain feeling or memory made me so hopeless that I'd chosen to live in the past so suddenly? Why did I stop breathing?

Yes, tears were there but not because those were unwanted sad memories. On the contrary, they were too sweet to be forgotten, to be left behind. This complicated mixture of feelings with my past and present made me question what was going on in my life recently. I guess it seemed to me what I had in 2020 was much more livable.

I apparently followed the dungeons under the ground and got lost in the sky of my past life. In other words, my dear brain was on duty, comparing memories with the present to make me feel like a failure. Noticing this pattern made me simmer down a little. A couple of minutes passed. I thought about memories in general. Was it possible that they become our attachments?

In Yoga, our attachments, which are usually referred to as material things, are just one branch of the other six negative mental states that "sabotage" us. Because of our attachments, our happiness depends on what we have or what we want. The state of being happy and fulfilled is therefore limited, materialized. In order to reach a clearer mind, one must overcome attachments.

When I think that my past is better than my present, I implicitly evaluate that what I want is my past. In a way, become attached to it. Those feelings rooted in my memories grow into what I desire. And the situation triggers the sad corners of my brain which consequently shouts at me: "You'll never be as happy as you were n the past!". It breaks my heart and ruins the present moment if I'm not conscious enough.

At some point, it would be wise to beware that memories can become attachments that we cannot let go of. If my mind gets out of control, and I am frantically obsessed with my past, that is a problem. And I don't need it. As Buddha said, "You can only lose something you cling to."

What must be done is to practise and learn how to let them go. Learning and applying it so well that you can accept anything that causes pain or pleasure is just impermanent; you are impermanent.

When this is acknowledged, your past stops traumatizing your present. Your memories remain as memories. You move one step further. And maybe, just maybe, you realize that time is not something linear.