my anxiety 🤝🏻 my breath

What if these little moments that we find happiness and peace are life, indeed?What if we stop, just for a minute stop, and acknowledge what we already have?

Running from one task to another, planning one future event then the other... There is no ending. There is no rest there. Last night I couldn’t sleep because of the to-do list in my head. I was restless drowning in my concerns. The more I thought, the more I was stuck. I found myself being pessimistic about my future. Oh, my brain, it looooves drama. It loves f me up. 

So, the to-do list slowly turned into a chain of catastrophic events. I was just trying to sleep (I remind you that) and suddenly everyone I loved died in a car accident (in my head). Suddenly, human beings were destroyed because of global warming. There was an earthquake. Covid-19 never ended. I failed to achieve all my dreams. I was broke. I was lonely. I was nothing. There was no point in trying because I would never ever manage what I wished. My wrists and ankles got numb. My heartbeats fastened. I was imprisoned.

Do you know what rescued me from that dead-end? Come on, you know it.

Yes.

My breath.

I, one by one, said goodbye to all those thoughts. I told myself I was safe, I was enough, I was at ease. It almost felt like I was slapping my own cheeks.

Then I realized, it was up to me to stop this endless loop. It was in my control to respond to my thoughts. They were nothing without my attention.

We can be in charge of our minds through the path of mindfulness, through starting to breathe again.
I exactly know it isn’t as easy as it sounds. Yet it is possible. It is in our hands to feel contentment, courage, relief.

Next time, before you start rechecking your imaginary to-do list, just remind yourself that everything is fine and as it should be and that you can always return back to your breath.