As Soon As Healing Takes Place...

They say what we see in others is actually a reflection of ourselves. It is basically because we categorize, criticize, justify people with a filter we created. In the end, our approach to others becomes an inseparable part of ours. It becomes the product of the mind: a thought. Thoughts bring emotions, and emotions, action, whether seen or not. I often wonder: Is this why we are too inclined to fix others when they seem miserable? 

This is something I have been trying to control in my life for years. When someone, especially people I am close to, is feeling down and blue, that urge to set things right appears in my heart. And I beat my brain out to find an exit, a solution, a door. I want to try every possible way to provide peace. 

What was even more puzzling was that I usually ended up being more pessimistic than they actually were because I inwardly blamed myself for their misery. Nobody but myself has encumbered me by this “duty”.  I spent half of my life walking in the darkness as I was not aware that I was responsible for no one’s hell or paradise. 

One way or another, I have taught myself that I, first, need to bring peace inside before I try to spread it outside. Because when I make others’ problems my own, I just wind up at another blind valley, that’s all. It is like there is a tangle of knots right in front of me, and I keep adding more knots to it. 

The other thing was that there was nothing wrong with feeling down. Emotions were not and will never be materials that we should “fix”. We can observe, accept and then transform them. But fixing? No. While it is undoubtedly true that misery can “ask for your gentle mind”, it is up to us to be awake and aware.