why you shouldn't care?

Hey yO ladies, gentlemen and people who adorably have no (or different) genders,

How have you been to yourself nowadays? Harsh? Patient? Loving? Torturing? All these? It makes sense. None of us are stable. Few of us have figured the exact features and adjectives of their personalities. The reason of this is that we are constantly changing creatures. Our minds as well as bodies are evolving day by day while we see, hear, speak, eat, shit, listen or read. However, have you ever thought who or what has shaped your own thoughts about yourself?

For me, I have so many personalities but there are two of them clashing all the time. One side in me is a mean, coldhearted, foul-mouthed and manipulative witch-bitch while the other is a frank, congenial, caring and sincere Pollyanna. I am going between these two sharp edges and still trying to observe what I am really. I know most of you do the same even though you are not aware. It is just an instinctive act, trying to name ourselves, trying to find an identity suiting our wishes and ideals. Well, there is an important point you should be watching out for not to be misled: Others’ negativity.

I try to be as kind as possible to everyone in my life since I have started to do yoga because I know what I release will, one way or another, return to me. Call it karma, call it faith, call it anything you want to. Establishing empathy will save you. Being compassionate and polite will save you. Not only towards the others, but also to yourself! Because how you speak, how you treat, how you react to other people’s EVERYTHING just reveal who you really are. If you believe in yourself enough and build your self-confidence accordingly,  who cares of someone else’s opinion? That is why you should be careful about what you are saying or what you are thinking. Those are the elements of your own personality, not the things or people you are commenting on.

For instance, there were people deliberately telling me that I looked sad just to make me feel uncomfortable. I didn’t know it then. I was sad but the last thing you need to be remembered when you are sad is that you look sad. It is just not fair to go tooth for tooth. It just shows the world how inconsiderate and mean you are inside. See the intention. That is why it is so tremendously important to observe your OWN thoughts. Are they negative? If yes, observe WHY. Because of other people? Well, fuck them.

What has inspired me to write these? Well, folks, I have been watching first season of RuPaul’s Drag Race lately (yes, in 2019), and I have encountered a scene that has enlightened me on this matter SO MUCH. One of the queens was complaining about the negativity of the judges really hard, RuPaul got sick of it and made the most impressive and unforgettable speech in the whole drag race history. Here it is for you:  

“It is just his opinion. I’ve learned this long ago. What other people think of me none of my business. You forgot that you were amazing. If you take on someone else’s negativity, it is because, god dammit, you forgot it! It is not my responsibility to make you feel good all the time. You forgot you are fabulous. Don’t blame me for that. That’s your fucking responsibility.

I know what I am. I DON’T forget who I am. And, that’s the truth for all of you, never forget. Everyone is going to tell you: “No, you cannot do it.” Because they are projecting THEIR negativity onto YOU. `Oh they are saying bad things about me!!!` Own it. Own it and you get to the understanding that, OH, that WASN’T ME. That was THEIR shit.  That had nothing to do with ME. That was them. Then, you own it, and you go. You know what? Every time that happens to you in life,  the time it takes for you to catch yourself gets shorter and shorter. Will it go away? No. That self-doubt, does it go away? It doesn’t go away. We can’t tell you this. You have to walk through the fire. Then you own it and you go: “Come for me, bitches, come for me. You can say whatever you want. Because why? I’m motherfucking fierce.”

Know yourself. Know yourself enough to have courage to show the world what you have got. First, learn to be good inside to scatter the good outside.

As RuPaul says: “If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”

Can I get a Namaste here?