note to myself: meditate. now.
There are many ways to meditate and at some point, these can even be personal. One does not have to sit straight and still to meditate. For some people, walking is meditation. For others, watching autumn leaves falling from trees is meditation. It depends. It depends on your feelings and characteristics. You may not have that patience at first to observe your head while you sit at a cross legged position. It can be overwhelming to seize what is going on in your mind at once. Pushing yourself to concentrate can make things even more complicated because you can feel stressed and think you do it all wrong. Besides, you will probably think about sitting straight or about your numb feet more than you observe your thoughts, which will detract you from your mind.
What matters is being able to find the peace and balance in your thoughts at the exact moment. Embracing every piece of emotion and seeing through them. It will be surprising to notice what one thought can bring next to it. In time, you will go deeper and deeper not by chasing them but by choosing them to go. You are not supposed to move any thought away. Observe. This is the simplest method of it. Do it any time during the day. While having breakfast, for example, see what you are thinking. Feel the taste of your meal. Hear the sound of your mouth. What are you doing? Feeding your carrier on this world. Taking care of yourself.
As long as you are mindful in your actions, it is meditation. They will show you the way through your inner self. The truth behind your intelligence. Everything you are affected by. Even the things you are trying to hide from yourself. Don't be afraid to face them. "Your goal is not to battle with the mind, but to witness the mind."
All these, at the end will reveal your bounds to the nature, to the universe itself. You will see your desires, your fears, your weaknesses and strengths. You will slowly learn to be indifferent to all these and observe your inner space, not as a conquerer but as a witness.
First step is being hones to yourself. Second is your commitment. Third I think is acceptance and forgiveness.
I have literally left everything I know behind to feel better and more relaxed in a country that I don't know anything about. But I have to remember: "Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul."
