what now?

I remember that the first time I saw a photo of a man standing on his hands. The atmosphere, the posture and so the photograph itself looked astonishing for me, it was something magical. Then I thought “Why shouldn’t I try this? Why shouldn’t I do yoga?” It was my first goal to perform a handstand but soon I understood that I needed a lot of exercises to stand on my hands. I started to explore another aspects of yoga though. I didn’t give up completely but I knew it would take so much time to do those asanas I’d admired. I don’t know the exact date but it was in 2015.

Now we are at the end of 2018 and 2 weeks ago I could do my first handstand ever but of course with the aid of a wall. I didn’t plan it. I didn’t expect anything about it. After a flow basing on shoulder stand I just gave my hands a try and saw that I was almost able to do it! It was unbelievably thrilling for me. The sense of seeing the world upside down hit me so hard that I enjoyed every second of it. I felt with every part of my body that I was capable of so many things. My shoulders, legs, stomach, arms, my brain could do so many if I trained myself, I thought. But then, I went on a travel and my practice was to be paused. Still, when I look at this photo below, the only thing I can see is my achievement, determination and self-discipline. I know I am not so good at going back on my mat but at least I am trying.

Life and your plans never goes in concert. That’s why I am not at the exact point where I planned to be. I am moving forward and not looking back. I am not worried that I lost my time and capability. On the contrary, every day I have passed without doing yoga I taught myself that I needed it deeply & unconditionally.