day 62 - 63

How sad it is that I didn’t do yoga yesterday. How sad it is that for the last two days I am starting to write my blog announcing I didn’t do yoga. I am not angry with myself for that. I am not disappointed or I am not upset. I knew these days would come and I was ready. I knew after some time I would be tired and couldn’t find enough energy to do something. I am emotionally unstable in these days. I cannot decide anything. I cannot focus on anything. If I can manage to stick up with my yoga throughout tough times, I am sure nothing will can stop me then. I am struggling now but trying my best to achieve my goals. For example, according to my schedule I needed to Fiji’s 8^th day but it was 45 mins long. I wasn’t in the mood of a long yoga session. I skipped it and took the other day, 9^th. It was shorter thus quicker.

I can now feel the energy I create during the flows. It is not possible to describe it completely but I can say it’s like my chest is being separated into two pieces and just in the middle of it a gleaming yellow light is sparkling through the sky. It sounds crazy though… Yeah it’s my imagination but it completes my practice. Without the mind there, it’s only a plank, it’s only a posture. I am giving my mind, at least trying, by turning physical sensations into reasonable, connective and discrete figments.

I am still not flexible enough and I am not pushing myself to be. I am just doing yoga and watching my evolution. My body keeps changing, even I don’t realise my muscles are getting stronger. I am able to do many postures that I couldn’t do once. Regular practice can be the solution of every obstacle in my mind and physical appearance. I am still into it.