day 54 & 55 emotional triumph

Hey people,

This blog post will include my 54^th and 55^th days because I haven’t been able to write for the last 48 hours. Starting from yesterday, 54^th day, both physically and emotionally it was a challenging day. I even questioned my daily practice by thinking “What’s the point anyway? I’m already too sad to do anything.” I of course was wrong. My period hit me unexpectedly hard. My stomach was hurting enormously when I heard some bad news from my mom. They are all family issues so I won’t involve them here but I cried because of an emotional explosion. I was angry, I was sad, I was anxious and the worst was I was hopeless. I couldn’t find a way to feel safe and better. Instead, I sit on my bed and cried desperately. However, I gather myself up more easily than before. I told myself that “I shouldn’t be ruining my mind with these negative thoughts.” If I had been in a normal condition physically, I would have jumped onto my mat instantly. I couldn’t it because of the pain I had in my stomach and the blood in my vagina. [Here I should note that normally my menstrual pain even don’t let me speak or walk. 

Yesterday I came home easily by walking. I didn’t have any blackouts. I didn’t have any painkillers. In comparison with my general period cramps, it was totally bearable.] Nevertheless, when the physical pain was felt along with an emotional disturbance, my brain got the control and didn’t let me think. It controlled my feelings and reason for a short time that made me cry, then I fought and came back. Yeah, now it sounds like I’m crazy and have more than one personalities, but dude, who doesn’t? Every one of us have these crossroads in our lives. Now that I have used the word crossroad here comes a beginning of a great poem called Lady Weeping at the Crossroads by W.H. Auden.

Lady, weeping at the crossroads,
Would you meet your love
In the twilight with his greyhounds,
And the hawk on his glove?

I am telling you people, I have managed this ability by my practice. Ask yourself. If you can’t control your mind, how can you control your life? Try it. Do it by yoga! I have managed this by taming myself. Telling my brain to calm down by doing yoga. Telling my body to relax my meditating. Easing my muscles by performing some asanas. Reading and writing more about these.

“In the 21^st century, beyond the needs of individuals, the underlying principles of yoga provide a real tool to combat social malaise. At a time when the world seems to be at a loss, rejecting past values without being able to establish new ones, yoga provides a means for people to find their own way of connecting with their true selves. Through this connection with their real selves, it is possible for people to manifest harmony in the current age, and for compassion to emerge where hitherto there has been more.
In this respect, yoga is far from simply being physical exercises. It is and aid to establishing a new perception of what is real, what is necessary, and how to become established in a way of life which embraces both inner and outer realities. This way of life is an experience which cannot be understood intellectually and will only become living knowledge through practice and experience. However, the renaissance has begun.”

So, yesterday, when I was able to detox myself from those toxic and negative thoughts I did a youtube search. “Yoga for menstrual pain”

I don’t know who this lady is and why I chose her but the session was calm and relaxing.
Today! 55th day! I woke up eagerly. I had a self-care routine. Cleaned my body, the house, my mat.
I did 2nd day of 14 days of yoga challenge with Fiji McAlpine. In this video, Fiji teaches us the foundations of yoga in a flow. It resembles the first day’s movements. However, this time she takes it slowly and mindfully, explaining every move to us. For example when she does chaturanga she first shows how we should keep our hands and shoulders, she wants us to look at the video. Her warnings and description I think could be very useful for someone who is wondering about yoga foundations.

I know there are millions of videos explaining every foundation one by one. However, seeing these in a flow is a way more different and better. Think my standing wide legged forward fold. I could only manage to do that after a flow. So, check that video out if you want to know secrets of some basic yogasanas.
That’s all for now.
I hope I am able to inspire you and your creativity.
Enjoy!