day 27 and 28 : learn to apologise from yourself

21^st and 22^nd of September 2018, Friday & Saturday

photo credits : me, in ishikesh, india 

Have you ever apologised from yourself? Let’s be honest.

As far as I can remember I haven't. On the contrary, I have unintentionally always thought I am the one to blame. Today on my yoga matt I realised this when I apologised from myself in shawasana.

I need to make some confessions: Yesterday I didn’t do yoga. AGAIN. Nothing went the way I planned. I couldn’t come home early then I was to be somewhere else. I hastily got ready and went to a party where rich people tried to entertain themselves by simply sitting and drinking. The music was really good though. I wanted to dance but nobody seemed interested in dancing. My shy and introvert nature halted me and I sat on my chair for a couple of hours. I AGAIN drank too much alcohol. I don’t even remember last hour of my night. How I came home, how I went to sleep, how I cleaned my makeup I don’t know.

In the morning I woke up at 9.34. I didn’t do any plans to do yoga but if I could got up earlier I knew I could do it. I did it before I should have done to discipline myself, not to disappoint myself. Here should I blame the alcohol? Nay. I should blame me. Why did I drink that much? (I know the answer because it was free lol) This is a really REALLY challenging practice for your daily life. Drink or eat as much as your body needs. You can learn how much you need by a simple check on google or consulting a specialist. We people are consuming too much because our century is all about this. We even consume the internet more than we need. For example I pass my hours looking at the computer while I am at work. Okay this is a must because without computer I cannot work but when I come home I continue to do it. This means I consume internet in 16 hours, 2/3 of my day. During the rest of it I sleep obviously.

Yesterday was one of the days I consumed too much alcohol and food. I didn’t stop myself but I learnt I should have. It affected my whole night and next day, today. Headache, nausea, eye bags, bad skin and acnes, bad smell. I think I can add more if I think on it but let’s move to the next issue.

Yes, I am not as good as I was a week ago for 3 or 4 days. Today I even cried on the kitchen floor (back to black plays in the distance). I cried because I didn’t want to clean the whole house by myself, then I slept. When I woke up I did my yoga. It was 26^th day of Adriene’s yoga revolution series and it was 20 minutes in total. Believe or not I felt great. The movements I created were like a supernatural cure for my body. I have just left my matt and now I am writing these to you like anyone is reading… Look how gorgeous I was though...

Even my headache is gone. I know it sounds unbelievable but I am not making up these guys. These are my experiences about yoga and about how yoga changes my mind, my way of thinking as well as my physical appearance. This is a transformation journey. I am not intended to quit but I guess because of PMS I am feeling bad and down. I promise I will never let this alcohol thing happen again. This week I lived this through twice and that’s enough. I will learn to say stop and will learn my limits. I will train my brain while I am training my body. All in all, this is what yoga is.

I don’t know whether you have ever apologised yourself or not, but do not avoid from it. If necessary put your cute little hand on your heart and apologise. I am apologising from myself one more time in front of you, for I have been really bad to my body and the most neurological organ of mine. Peace!